Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back – The Basics
The trauma of a breakup is never an easy thing to put up with. There are times when everything you do seems to shove him farther away, and where you’re at your wits end trying to figure out something, anything you can do. Here are some proven techniques to get you over this hurdle.
You find yourself calling. Or IMing, or text messaging. You wonder if he thinks about you at all, and then you start to pity yourself. Maybe you want to make him feel sorry for you, or to take you back and make it all right. Maybe some desperate part of you wishes it would all magically get better, or wishes there were something you could do to bring him back.
If those are the patterns of your thoughts, then no matter how much you want to rekindle or jump start this relationship, and we know it’s what you want – or you wouldn’t be reading this article – it’s not gonna work. You see, those patterns of actions come off as being clingy and smothering and controlling, and just the same way you’d back off if he did them to you, he’s going to run for the hills when you point the “pity me” parade at him.
So focus on the things that work.
OK, what you’re doing right now? It’s called projecting. And it isn’t helping. He’s going to read that hurt and that pity party in your head in the set of your shoulders, the look in your eyes, or, more than likely by the way you call him twice a day and bawl at him, IM him, or try to make him feel sorry for you. The only one feeling sorry for you is you, and until you stop, he isn’t going to want to be with you.
Take a different approach. Think about what your life was like before you found this guy. You had friends. You did some pretty cool stuff with them. They’re still out there, and you should gang with them and go do something fun. Get the hell out of the house.
You’re working with human nature – being a clingy sponge is going to drive any man worth having away – think about it in reverse. If he were moping around and listless because you broke up with him, you’d think he was annoying as all get out. Same here – don’t be annoying at him. Get on with your life, grow a spine and let him come back on his own. (Or, alternatively, use this as the time to learn your lessons about relationships, and move on to something better.)
Who knows, maybe with a bit of time to see who you are without the filter of the breakup, his interest will rekindle. Or maybe you’ll decide he wasn’t worth all that mess anyway – and you’ll have learned something about yourself. Either way, keep yourself grounded, focused on the things that make your life fun with nobody else in it and hang out with your buddies. And stop asking “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back”. Oh, and you can put that annoying Alanis Morisette CD back on the rack. It’s served it’s purpose.
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